my mind is going ballistic at the moment, even if my body rejects its just having to much thoughts at the same time. One moment I'm just chill and thinking about the nice things of my life and the other side I just see my whole past.
like the elderly often say.. Girl don't look back. Move forward and don't give up hope in live.
Why does it feel so strange, why do I think about the past and why can't I let it behind me. If I just look back how I might reacted when I was 19 or younger than now. Not that I am that much older. I just can not figure it out. Why don't I have the courage to pull myself out of misery and live my life at the fullest. Why am I stuck. Just like a stoptrain, that stops to often and for to long time. Why does it feel like everybody is moving on with their lives and I'm standing still.
and again I can just wonder and ask the same question why! But shall I get an answer on it?
Toninght I experienced the same old pain, but today I wasn't the person with all the obligations. I just saw a dear friend going trough that pain. I had for many years. So these kinds of event is for mine person enough to have thoughts of the past.
Maybe someday
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