rain-thoughts

do you know how hard it is to blog something about yourself. That strangers kan read have a peak in side your head...- LOL-

I was walking home from work, it was raining, but i didn't mind. mine thoughts could go its way... It was nice. The fresh air was coming towards me.. And i looked after a long time to the expression on peoples faces. It was nice... The whole setup was dramatic dark rainy day,but people where laughing and walking fast to their destination. Even me. But the rain made me..uhmm how shall i descibe it.. it made me feel free in some kind of strange way...

today my day went by, by observing people. I just love to read the emotions on someones face. so impressive. That brings me on a topic. I can be so happy if someone tells me that they found love in their life. It just makes me happy. To see people how they found love.. or if someone tells me good news.. i can be more happier than the other person. Some people cant understand that or find it strange. But for me it is normal to show your affection/ emotion to others if you mean it. Why should we pretend or hide it.

Sometimes I really ask myself, why are people so insecure. I know they are afraid of getting hurt. But isn't it that you just learn from all your mistakes and. That being insecure is a caracter habbit that you have to work on it. Just get all those strange ghost away from your head. Everyone has its own insecurities, but it doesn't mean that it has to rule you.

ok my head is going on and on.. from one topic to another. hope you reader can draw a line in it. and that you can understand what iam trying to write /say.

Find Yourself

When you find yourself in some far off place
and it causes you to rethink some things
You start to sense that slowly you're becoming someone else
And then you find yourself...

When you make new friends in a brand new town
and you start to think about settling down
The things that would have been lost on you
are now clear as a bell
And you find yourself,
yeah thats when you find yourself

Well you go through life
so sure of where you're headed
And you wind up lost
and its the best thing that could have happened
Cause sometimes when you lose your way, its really just as well
because you find yourself,
yeah that's when you find yourself.

-Brad P. from the Movie "Cars"

Find Yourself

Feeling sad

If you can imagine it you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it. --William Arthur Ward --

you know the stories that begins ones in a lifetime there was A.....

In my case you can say ones in a life time a was a dreamer, but I think I lost myself. Is it a hard lesson of life or is it a hard lesson of having dreams, getting your hopes up.

yak... Need to get these darkclouds out of my head. Don't want to be philosophical today, It just makes me sad. Why I don't know. I'm just sad. Why there is a lot of reasons for it. But if you look at it from the sidelines it would look so small..
What can I say, its the small things that makes me happy, that what's me to enjoy life. But I'm caught in a world, where people just rush in to life, without any meaning of it value. Day in day out.

I'm just sad. India changed me in a sort of way. What shall I say, got a lot of time to think. But even than I don't have the answers on my questions. Strange. Life doesn't give you always the answers by thinking.

The holidays

Last Christmas & holiday I was for the first time in India. After a culture shock it was a nice vacation.

short impression of Mumbai..
gosh that city is so crowded and there are so many poor people living there. I liked the spirit of the people towards on. How they lived. They had so little but even than they could survive. I don't think I would survive it.

Nizamabad / Armur / Nyaped ( if you write it like that)
It was nice it was like the typical mid gow culture. It was nice being there. The air was fresh and I could rest for a while. A way from al the busy lifetracks etc.

Hyderabad
That I call a nice city, a lot of historical buildings and siteseeings and it was browsing al day. It looked like they don't sleep in India. It was worse than Mumbai hahaha in a good way ofcourse. What I noticed in India last Dec/ Jan there was every day somewhere in the city a wedding. I looked like there was a hype on the shaadi theme in this season.

all by all India was good for a first expression. And it really deserves a second chance.

but still my heart lies in my birthcountry... not Europe nor India